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Poetic by analillithbar

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Submitted on
September 11, 2011
File Size
802 bytes
Mature Content


14 (who?)
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(Contains: sexual themes)
Your lowered lashes,
A demure challenge, exite
With playful intensity.
As you tease,
With wanton lips,
Promise a moist ascent to ecstacy.

I long to inflame
Your appetites, with a monsoon
Of caresses about your spine,
And for your nipples
To stand, exquisite and proud,
As perfect crowns.

Let me savour your
Feminine flower in the garden
Of delight, as you trace
My contours with your tounge.
Then, in union incandecent
Let us move oblivious to all.

Let our hair flow together
In praise of Venus,
As I stand in honour of you.
Come, let us join,
And return to the Gods
In explosive orgasm.

Loverby Blyddyn

Mature Content
I was asked by a woman I once knew to write an erotic poem for her, this is what I wrote, and the results were.... Explosive.
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This is my first authorized critique since joiniing the group.
First of all, the choice of words through the first two stanzas was eye-catching. "I long to inflame your appetite with a monsoon of caresses..." is very unusual expression for modern poetry and even I think of writing such style. Good work for thinking of it first. Second, the line length and rhythm are very well-conceived. You show good awareness of both. I believe I have collected from you before. You promise good reading so far as I remember, and this entry is no exception. I enjoyed it from first line to last.
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1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

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BOI-BLUE Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Student General Artist
passionriter Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wonderful emotion and feeling captured in this. Good job!
SoulDragonWithFlow Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I have never really been a fan of free verse, but this is really quite good. Well described and powerful language. Nice one
Blyddyn Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the kind words.
SunkistTar Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2011
Very well expressed. I like this a lot. Sexy. Well done.
GinaKincade Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2011
Like it!
Blyddyn Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you - perhaps you would also like my "Bound play"
EatingMyOwnFears Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2011
explosive indeed!
Blyddyn Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2011  Professional Writer
Wonderful poetry...
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