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Deviation Actions
Literature Text
As the recovery trailer departs
The instructor climbs out
With a smile,
And a nod
Says, "You're on your own...."
As I give the signal,
Apprehension my passenger
Leers from the empty seat.
I ease the stick a fraction
And leave the ground.
The glider ascends
But I, intent on the instruments
Mark this not.
Until, at altitude
I pull the release.
The nose dips briefly
To increase speed,
I check the horizon
And adrenaline floods.
Trained actions take over
As I take note only
Of my silent passage,
Of my flight to the sun.
Downwind leg, the bracing wires
Sing to me of eternal flight
A sirens lay
That I must resist.
Then the approach.
Intent, I maintain attitude
A steady decent
To skim the grass
As the spoilers extend.
The glider slows
And the port wing drops.
I exhale -
And revel in those three minutes
When I tasted flight.
The instructor climbs out
With a smile,
And a nod
Says, "You're on your own...."
As I give the signal,
Apprehension my passenger
Leers from the empty seat.
I ease the stick a fraction
And leave the ground.
The glider ascends
But I, intent on the instruments
Mark this not.
Until, at altitude
I pull the release.
The nose dips briefly
To increase speed,
I check the horizon
And adrenaline floods.
Trained actions take over
As I take note only
Of my silent passage,
Of my flight to the sun.
Downwind leg, the bracing wires
Sing to me of eternal flight
A sirens lay
That I must resist.
Then the approach.
Intent, I maintain attitude
A steady decent
To skim the grass
As the spoilers extend.
The glider slows
And the port wing drops.
I exhale -
And revel in those three minutes
When I tasted flight.
I took a gliding course at 645GS, RAF Catterick in 1978, these are my memories of my first solo.
© 2012 - 2024 Blyddyn
Comments1
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Overall Vision Originality
Technique ImpactI absolutely love the style of this poem and its changing stanza length etc; having flown myself I think it reflects how you feel throughout the experience. I have thought about these very slight changes - not to wording but to grammar...
perhaps 'As I give the signal,
Apprehension (my passenger)'? the brackets, or a futher comma after 'apprehension', or a set of hyphens rather than the brackets, would both split the line into one more easily read and emphasise the lack of tactile passenger, showing (as the first stanza does, fantastically!) that the speaker - you - are alone in the aircraft.
also, perhaps add a hyphen to the penultimate stanza's second line?: 'Intent, I maintain attitude -
A steady decent... ', again simply for effect.
I love the last stanza! It's a perfect ending for such an amazing experience which you have so willingly passed on.
I will explain the ratings I have offered. Your writing gives a very clear image to me, based on my own experiences, of the event you are describing; someone who hasnt flown in a glider before may not agree, but I had a crystal clear image in my mind of the events as they unfolded. Your writing is based on your own experience, which is why originality is clear, and impact is exactly right - there are highs and lows of tension and impact in all the right places. Technique I put lower simply because I didn't spot many specific poetic devices; however, it has a very individual technique (yours, apparently!), and it is well-written and engaging, with tension and imagery etc where they are required.
In short, I love it!